And it was just another ordinary day on the production floor.....

I started my day this morning by coming face to face with the last of the worlds cro-magnun men. Staring in awe at how absolutely hairy a balding man can be, I couldn't pull my eyes away from him, much like a gawker staring on as emergency crews clean up after a car crash. The thick black monobrow beckoned me, calling out my name begging me to stare in horror at their furrowed bushiness.

Tearing myself away, I manage to make it to my desk, to the lunch room for a Mt. Dew, then off to the production managers meeting for my daily dose of comedy. It has become quite the topic of conversation between Sophia and myself about who gets the honor of being able to sit next to me in the production managers meeting. I have to wonder if The New Guy and Mr. Brownstar realize just how ridiculous this whole situation has become. Today it was Mr. Brownstar who happened to enter first. Without a missed step he had crossed the room and sat down directly to my left, trying to steal my pen in the process. It was an oddly comforting feeling for myself, actually, to have him to my left. Even Ted was feeling good about it, not once did I see him wiping a sweaty palm on his pant leg. The New Guy, however, was visibly disappointed he had lost his seat.

"I see you took your seat back," The New Guy comment as he passed by Mr. Brownstar.

"Yeah, it's been calling out to me, telling me to come on home," Mr. Brownstar rubbed it right in.

Throughout the remainder of the meeting, Mr. Brownstar would continue to taunt The New Guy, egging him on, perhaps trying to keep the anomosity fresh between the two. As of yet, nobody has openly stated anything about the exchanges, I'm curious to see how long this goes on before someone speaks up.

The remainder of the morning had gone along pretty smoothly, not much action, but quite a bit of work was able to be done.

Then came GQ's meeting. Now, GQ and I have been tasked to review a work instruction and ensure that the process and production floor are in sync with each other. Not a daunting task, but one that requires a little work and research to get it going.

A task that GQ has done neither for.

Everyone that had been listed as a required attendee had shown up for the meeting except GQ, cardinal sin. GQ was the meeting organizer! I had no choice but to have the meeting without him. God knows I've been the only one putting any work into the project at all to begin with. 25 minutes into the meeting, after every topic had been discussed and all parties had agreed to what we needed to be doing, GQ shows up, laughing at his silly mistake because he had taken lunch at the same time he had scheduled the meeting.

GQ was the only person in the room who had actually felt humor in the situation.

Trying to save face, GQ asks everyone if they want to just have the meeting after break, now that he was there and available. Like anyone is going to want to cover the same information twice! Naturally the consensus was no, they had already covered it with me, I could give him the notes.

GQ was pissed. I had stolen his thunder and taken the wind out from his sails.

A moment or two of reflection and quiet tension pass while he takes the notes I had gleaned from the meeting and we part ways. A little ticked off and ready to spill my guts, I begin telling Sophia about the crime scene of a meeting when I look up and see The New Guy chit chatting with Sophia and Hedda hopper.

Stopping in mid sentence, I comment about how I didn't realize he would be back in the area. A tad bit offended, he asked if he was suddenly not allowed to be back there. Unable to contain myself, I just blurt out the whole story about GQ and the botched meeting, then explained I don't normally talk about people like that, but I had to get it off my chest.

I'm certain The New Guy has developed a crush on me, which can be a very bad thing. Although, I admit, it's nice to feel the adoration and attention of men and the opposite sex, it's a bad thing in regards to the production floor. 9 out of every 10 work place romances end in tragedy. Someone is scorned, someone loses a job, someone just plain becomes a stalker.

I couldn't believe my eyes when The New Guy showed back up today after the last bell rang and the girls were getting ready to leave. I would be left alone, unsupervised, with The New Guy and his mad crush on me.

I broke out in hives.

The conversation had turned uncomfortable when he began to tell me about the different woman who had wanted to date him and how he had met a few women on the internet. I could feel the conversation was leading up to something I just didn't want to think about. Several times I had steered him onto a different path, first talking about how I talk entirely too much, then talking about a woman who was missing a front tooth. Never fail, he always managed to turn the conversation back to 'relationships'.

Almost as if God had seen my plight, he sent me an angel in the form of The Bearded Woman. When I heard that familiar gruff masculine voice say "Hey Boss!" I could have jumped out of my seat and hugged her. It was only a matter of seconds before The New Guy had vanished from the scene, and I was thanking God the situation was past.

I don't know what I'm going to do if he comes back again tomorrow. He knows I'm married, yet, I think he may believe that he can somehow 'steal' me away from my husband.

His only prerequisite in a woman is that she weigh less then he does, everything else is inconsequential.