Wanted: One Jet Black Panther

Independent consultants have been hired to come in and view our facility processes for the next few days.

This means best behavior and impromptu audit hell.

So far this morning, I've given my presentation to the 'entourage' that was escorting a very large man with sweat beads all over his face and a woman who was walking around with our HR manager. I feel the beginnings of a stress head ache creeping up the back of my neck.

If that weren't enough, my morning was absolutely crazy. One thing you quickly grow to understand when you work on the production floor is the purchasing department, on any given day, would need a pry bar to pull their heads far enough out of their asses just to see daylight.

This is hell on my departments, pure and simple. At any given moment a receiver will have 4 or 5 emails requesting hot parts to be received, a planner at their desk with a tracking number for an item that is supposed to be arriving, a phone receiver stuck to their ear as they explain to the purchasing department the parts they bought are wrong, and a production cell screaming they are line down.

This makes for some very unhappy employees, which, in turn, makes for one very unhappy production manager.

This morning happened to be like every other morning on the production floor, all hell had broken loose and it was up to me to reign it back in. Somehow The New Guy had gotten himself involved with one of the many complications that plague my day, pissing me off YET again!

How dare a new guy, someone who hasn't even been with the company long enough to establish a single solitary friend, tell me, a 10 year veteran, how to do my job! Then, when I'm good and pissed, tell me not to get defensive!

I'm telling you, the world would operate just fine minus one know-it-all New Guy. He would make excellent panther food.

Sophia and I have finally found a silver lining to the entire situation, however. I'm not certain why it hadn't crossed my mind before, but when Crazy Office Supply Jody came cruising back here with her high heels clicking and her barely clad bosom bouncing all over the place it hit us.

Crazy Office Supply Jody is just what The New Guy needs!

She's desperate, absolutely, unequivocally, obvious to the point that she shows up for work half naked, desperate. You may be thinking, what the hell?? How can any woman who shows up for work half naked be desperate??

Let me tell you.

Crazy Office Supply Jody is the type of woman who you would find hanging out in the bushes outside your front door playing a harmonica. Crazy Office Supply Jody is the type of woman who you would find in your kitchen one day boiling your child's pet bunny. Crazy Office Supply Jody is the type of woman who should be on medication for her nine million personalities to get along with each other.

She's just perfect for The New Guy!