Death to The New Guy

I have recently found out that, even though he is pretending to be a friend to my face, The New Guy has been spying and compiling information on me and my areas behind my back. I left work yesterday in rare form, if I had been allowed, I would have kicked his fucking ass all the way back down to his desk. The purple lipped freak!

Sophia had been concerned about me, actually, when I left last night. I had seen The New Guy walking back to, presumably, my desk, so I hurriedly threw on my coat and wished everyone a good evening. I didn't even stick around long enough for them to reply back. I left before The New Guy even had a chance to say a word to me.

Fast forward to today, if you will. Today rolls around and Spicegirl tells me we have a mandatory information meeting we must all attend in the lunch room.

I enter the lunch room first and pick a seat at an empty table. People begin to filing into the lunchroom, Spicegirl is the first to sit at my table. She sit's directly to my right and asks if we can postpone my weekly meeting for after the informational get together.

My Partner in Crime is the next to appear, pulling out the chair that is directly to the left of me.

"Is this seat saved for The New Guy?" he says, wicked smile lighting up his face, sarcasm in his voice.

"No, oh my God, please sit down, I don't want to end up sitting next to The New Guy," I'm laughing and looking at Spicegirl.

"You know, there is only so much you can see in the interview process, I swear, if I had known," she is laughing out of embarrasment, she also can not stand The New Guy.

"It's not your fault, people can appear to be totally different when you haven't had the opportunity to see what the hell they are REALLY like," I was defending Spicegirl. "I'm sure he had an excellent interview, some people just interview well."

"Yeah," Spicegirl is smiling, feeling a bit more at ease. My Partner in Crime is sarcasticly laughing next to me.

As we continue to discuss The New Guy and how irritating he is, I see him enter the lunch room, heading directly to our table. By this time Sophia has sat down next to Spicegirl and one of the business managers is sitting on the end of the table near Sophia.

"Don't sit here, don't sit here, don't sit here...." Spicegirl is chanting in a whisper next to me, he sits across from My Partner in Crime anyway.

The table has grown silent, nobody wants to talk to him.

"So, did you watch?" The New Guy is looking directly at me. Of course I know exactly what he is talking about, 'Grey's Anatomy'.

"Yeah," I'm trying to act like I don't want to strangle the life right out of him. I am in the presence of my boss, after all.

"So, tell me what happened in the last 10 minutes. You know..." he finishes the sentence with fake snoring, indicating he had fallen asleep.

Everyone at the table is silent as I quickly recap the last 10 minutes. I can't believe he has the nerve to even talk to me.

For the life of me, I can't understand what I have done to deserve such punishment.