A Man, a Soup Cook Off, a Dress

Mr. Brownstar has, quite possibly, gotten the shock of his life this morning.

Because of The Great Flood of 2007, our normal conference room has become a swirling vortex of industrial fans and mini heaters, all an attempt to dry out the carpet and drywall before serious damage and mold can set in.

In light of this, the production managers meeting had been relocated to the training room.

Mr. Brownstar and I had been in route to the training room when we happened upon GQ, also heading in the same direction. Being the kiss-ass suck up that he is, Mr. Brownstar had asked GQ if he would be participating in the latest EIG cook off they had set up, the soup cook off.

"Hey, GQ, so...... You planning on participating in my new cook off?" Mr. Brownstar's hand subconsciously smoothed out his goatee.

"I don't know..... You guys never do anything I want to do.... I want to do something that involves me wearing a dress. Why can't we do something like that?" Knowing GQ the way that I do, I know he's just saying this for effect. Knowing Mr. Brownstar the way that I do, I know he is internally freaking out to the point of no return.

"Hey, you know what? You could wear a dress to the soup cook off. How about that??" Mr. Brownstar's face is beet red, tiny sweat beads have formed on his crimson forehead.

We enter the training room, Mr. Brownstar red and sweating, me laughing my ass off.

"Is he serious? I don't know what to thing," by now, Mr. Brownstar is stammering and looking at the individuals who had already been assembled.

"Of course he's serious. That's GQ," I say, and make light of the conversation.

"Ok, wait a minute now, what in the hell are you talking about?" Tommy Lee is dying of curiosity, sitting on the edge of his seat.

As Mr. Brownstar begins the tale of GQ and the dress, Tommy Lee is called from the training room, missing most of the conversation. It was at the point Halitosis Woman was stating 'I'm done with GQ, I'm moving on......' that Tommy Lee entered the room again, missing almost the entire conversation.

"Now wait a moment here! What did I miss??" Tommy Lee was floored, most assuredly because from his snippet of conversation he had jumped to the conclusion Halitosis Woman and GQ had been romantically involved in a lustful and insidious way.

Shock to the system considering Halitosis Woman is a lesbian and GQ is Gay.