The Quality Systems Review

I must say, I certainly do work for a classy corporation.

With an empty hole where the once time fully stocked mini fridge was located and gummy snacks replacing the usual fresh fruit and bagels, the 3 hour Quality System Review proved to be quite an experience.

Because most of our corporate staff is not located in the same state as our facility, meetings such as this hinge on our ability to coordinate several people from several states on a speaker phone, a speaker phone that requires the participants on this end to be quiet in order for the speaker on the other end to be heard.

With the crinkling of the snack bags and people entering and exiting the conference room, this proved to be nearly impossible.

As I sat and listened to each and every slide as it was presented several things occurred to me.

First, I was the only participant in the room that did not drink coffee. I have joked in the past about the 'Stainless Steel Coffee Club', but, I'm here to say, it is in fact true. As I sat there, staring at everyone seated around that table, I realized I was the only participant without the steaming hot mug of prestige.

I must get myself a mug! They don't need to know I'm not drinking coffee from this mug!

Second, Spicegirl has let herself GO!!! I couldn't help but stare at the fashion victim presenting the slides. Her greasy unkempt hair, her brown and pink wrinkled up t-shirt, the bottoms of her wide leg jeans folded up about 3 inches to show her brilliant red and white Nike's, it was definitely an assault on the eyes, a crime scene I couldn't help but grimace from.

What could she be thinking???

Third, someone in that room had farted such a foul stench my eyes watered. I have every reason to believe it was the engineering manager who, by the way, just so happened to disappear from the room the instant my nose hairs began to curl, the instant the production control manager had placed his hand over his nose and looked in my very direction.

My direction!!!!

Like I could possibly pass something that putrid from my body!

I will never know if he really thought I was the source of that stench, but I do know, I did hear the toilet flush only moments before the engineering manager returned back to the table with a smile on his face.

The disgusting pig.