A major conglomeration with a world wide presence has acquired my facility along with our sister facilities. My hopes for this acquisition is that the change will bring good news for a change.
On to more important things.
Sophia has let me walk around with gravy on my right tit. I can't believe her audacity! How could she not tell me??? That bitch!
I have to say, that is a hell of a lot better then a lap full of steaming hot coffee. Again this morning, in the production managers meeting, Mr. Brownstar spilled an entire cup of freshly poured, steaming hot coffee, right into his crotch. We have all taken bets on when this incident will next happen.
My bet, two weeks from tomorrow. I anxiously await the next occurrence.
My apologies for the lack of posts, blog readers. It has been so hectic these past few days, the holidays have come upon me fast. Rest assured, once the holidays have passed, regular posts will once again happen.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
The Meeting
To most of the production managers, meetings comprise a majority of their day.
Everything from 'let's schedule a meeting to discuss when we can have the quality meeting' to 'we should set up a meeting to talk about that last meeting' can be considered a valid and reasonable excuse to have a meeting.
I've even attended meetings to discuss what color raffle tickets the company should use in their 50/50 drawings.
Pure insanity, I must say.
I happen to be one of those people who detest meetings. On some occasions they have to literally drag me kicking and screaming to the conference room. It's not a pretty sight.
Today is one of those days.
God have mercy on my soul.
Everything from 'let's schedule a meeting to discuss when we can have the quality meeting' to 'we should set up a meeting to talk about that last meeting' can be considered a valid and reasonable excuse to have a meeting.
I've even attended meetings to discuss what color raffle tickets the company should use in their 50/50 drawings.
Pure insanity, I must say.
I happen to be one of those people who detest meetings. On some occasions they have to literally drag me kicking and screaming to the conference room. It's not a pretty sight.
Today is one of those days.
God have mercy on my soul.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
It takes a lot of nerve.....
...to horn in on someone else's farewell gift!
I arrive at work today with my farewell gift to My Partner in Crime - a gift card from Starbucks, a large cup of Bold Starbucks coffee, a bag of house blend Starbucks ground coffee, and one of the metal insulated coffee cups that have been all the rage on the production floor. Sophia, Hedda, and I had all pitched in and I stopped to pick up the goods.
Immediately one of the receiving girls yells over at me as I pass "Hey, is that coffee for me?" She's laughing, I'm literally disgusted. She makes my skin crawl.
"No, this is for My Partner in Crime, I got it for his last day," I kept going. I purposely did not say anything to them because this gift was to be just from 'The Thugs' as he had affectionately grown to know us as.
Going over the goods with Sophia and Hedda, I had Hedda page My Partner in Crime to give him his gift.
Enter attention WHORES here:
The receiving girl who had made the comment moments before immediately shows up at my desk. It couldn't be more obvious what she's up to, she's horning in on the farewell gift. Naturally, My Partner in Crime shows up because we have paged him, Betty hot on his heels.
Not knowing what else to do, I present him with the farewell gift and tell him it is from myself and my thugs. He's touched, he loves the gift, and gives us all a hug. Even Overthetop Receiver and Betty.
I was pissed, I wanted to choke the very life right out of them. This had NOTHING to do with them AT ALL!! Overthetop Receiver, who I might add weighs about 300lbs, ended up falling backwards on a skid of components and crushed the hell out of one of the boxes. I was too pissed to even laugh at her.
I should be used to this, I really should, but I still get outraged every time something like this happens. These are the women who hide all of the Halloween candy when it comes in with packages, these are the women who intentionally kept myself and Sophia out of the pizza party, these are the women who continually bitch about each other to me, and then bitch to me about each other.
Then have the nerve to take up a collection for MY farewell gift, after the fact, because they had taken credit for it.
Women without class, pure and simple. I'm still infuriated.
On with the story...
Today is My Partner in Crime's last day with the production floor, so, as a final farewell, I played my last practical joke upon him. After I had presented him with the hot, fresh Starbucks coffee, I sent him the below picture attached to an email that simply stated:
Mmmmmm........ How's that coffee?? Taste Good??
He's definitely going to miss us!
I arrive at work today with my farewell gift to My Partner in Crime - a gift card from Starbucks, a large cup of Bold Starbucks coffee, a bag of house blend Starbucks ground coffee, and one of the metal insulated coffee cups that have been all the rage on the production floor. Sophia, Hedda, and I had all pitched in and I stopped to pick up the goods.
Immediately one of the receiving girls yells over at me as I pass "Hey, is that coffee for me?" She's laughing, I'm literally disgusted. She makes my skin crawl.
"No, this is for My Partner in Crime, I got it for his last day," I kept going. I purposely did not say anything to them because this gift was to be just from 'The Thugs' as he had affectionately grown to know us as.
Going over the goods with Sophia and Hedda, I had Hedda page My Partner in Crime to give him his gift.
Enter attention WHORES here:
The receiving girl who had made the comment moments before immediately shows up at my desk. It couldn't be more obvious what she's up to, she's horning in on the farewell gift. Naturally, My Partner in Crime shows up because we have paged him, Betty hot on his heels.
Not knowing what else to do, I present him with the farewell gift and tell him it is from myself and my thugs. He's touched, he loves the gift, and gives us all a hug. Even Overthetop Receiver and Betty.
I was pissed, I wanted to choke the very life right out of them. This had NOTHING to do with them AT ALL!! Overthetop Receiver, who I might add weighs about 300lbs, ended up falling backwards on a skid of components and crushed the hell out of one of the boxes. I was too pissed to even laugh at her.
I should be used to this, I really should, but I still get outraged every time something like this happens. These are the women who hide all of the Halloween candy when it comes in with packages, these are the women who intentionally kept myself and Sophia out of the pizza party, these are the women who continually bitch about each other to me, and then bitch to me about each other.
Then have the nerve to take up a collection for MY farewell gift, after the fact, because they had taken credit for it.
Women without class, pure and simple. I'm still infuriated.
On with the story...
Today is My Partner in Crime's last day with the production floor, so, as a final farewell, I played my last practical joke upon him. After I had presented him with the hot, fresh Starbucks coffee, I sent him the below picture attached to an email that simply stated:
Mmmmmm........ How's that coffee?? Taste Good??
He's definitely going to miss us!
TAKE A WALK ON THE WILD SIDE
Here I sit in full view of everything going on around me,when something catches my
eye......It's the waterboy! Oh my god what a body. You know he works out bigtime. This reminds me of the Kasey Kane commercial all the gals checking him out. He"s looking and smiles at me and wants to talk,and of course I do,why not look but don't touch and if I was single I would take a big walk on the wild side.
Well,Well here comes Jodie the office supply girl scoping out the new meat(men) in
house,I saw her a the other end of the building checking out the new engineer,who is quitting due to the long drive. He's not her type,she's a nut job but men like to check her out cause she dresses like a hooker. Now she has worked her way down to this end. The guy's that have been here awhile avoid her,the new guys want to give her a try!!!!!
Now here comes Horny old Elbert,he's our tool man 79 yrs old makes his rounds talking sex bigtime with the women,of course he makes comments about the waterboy to me(He's from the county checks our water every week) SEX !SEX!SEX! Sounds good to me,the older you get the hornier you are. It's looks like this place is a giant meat factory wrapped around looking and thinking "Boy would I like to jump them bones"Stay tuned!!!!!!
Sophia
eye......It's the waterboy! Oh my god what a body. You know he works out bigtime. This reminds me of the Kasey Kane commercial all the gals checking him out. He"s looking and smiles at me and wants to talk,and of course I do,why not look but don't touch and if I was single I would take a big walk on the wild side.
Well,Well here comes Jodie the office supply girl scoping out the new meat(men) in
house,I saw her a the other end of the building checking out the new engineer,who is quitting due to the long drive. He's not her type,she's a nut job but men like to check her out cause she dresses like a hooker. Now she has worked her way down to this end. The guy's that have been here awhile avoid her,the new guys want to give her a try!!!!!
Now here comes Horny old Elbert,he's our tool man 79 yrs old makes his rounds talking sex bigtime with the women,of course he makes comments about the waterboy to me(He's from the county checks our water every week) SEX !SEX!SEX! Sounds good to me,the older you get the hornier you are. It's looks like this place is a giant meat factory wrapped around looking and thinking "Boy would I like to jump them bones"Stay tuned!!!!!!
Sophia
Friday, December 01, 2006
Tailgate Party Friday
The EIG group has coordinated a hot dog cookout for the production floor today.
A great idea!!
One catch, it is blizzarding so hard outside you can't see the smoke shack from the entrance door, a span of maybe 20 ft.
Because the show must go on, the EIG group has decided to set up the grill and a couple of carts loaded with food right on the handicap ramp, apparently the shelter from the snow is much more necessary then the ability of Jason, the guy in the WHEELCHAIR, to be able to make his way through the building.
Brilliant!
All morning it has been a 'Who's Who' of the production floor. Anyone that's anybody has been on that ramp, hanging out, pretending to be important, looking like a jack ass.
What can I say, if I worked with people who had half a brain, we would all be in trouble.
GQ, Sophia, and I have discovered one of the Quality Tech's has an obsession with on of the production engineers. Apparently, according to her, she and the production engineer in question have shared several past lives together, as lovers. She is currently awaiting her opportunity to be his lover in this life.
Can we say Crazy Stalker?
In the midst of this conversation, I had admitted to Sophia and GQ that I had been to a psychic before, and I had been told that, in my previous life, I was a nun named Barbara.
It was at this point that Obsessive Compulsive Ted had wandered by my desk, on the other side of the wall, and had apparently been shocked by this revelation. No sooner had the phrase passed through my lips then Obsessive Compulsive Ted's head popped up over the cubicle wall with shock and disbelief written across his crimson face.
"No way.... You were a NUN? No way.... I just can't believe that," the more he spoke, the redder his face got, the more he laughed.
"I'm serious, she said I was a nun," Sophia and I were laughing, GQ raised his eyebrows and looked at Ted.
"Well, I have to say, I'm baffled that someone who was a nun in a previous life would turn into YOU in this life," we all had to laugh at this, even GQ.
"You never know GQ, you and I could have been lovers in a past life," smiling, Sophia winked at GQ, waiting for his reaction.
Almost on que, his face turned beat red and began to laugh out of control.
"Well, something sure did change from that life to this. I don't think that version would go over to well with Larry in this life," still laughing, GQ was practically fleeing from our desks. He never does well in conversations of sexuality.
It has been decided that I will pull one last, grand finale, prank on My Partner in Crime, Monday. I know he has a love of Starbucks coffee, and with this, I will get my ultimate revenge. Sophia has been kind enough to give me an empty coffee cup to pull off my scheme.
I have deftly taken this cup and floated it in the grossest toilet I could find. The bowl is literally brown with hard water stains and lack of cleaning. Using my digital camera, I have snapped a picture of this cup in preparation for the next step in the prank.
Next, on Monday, I will present to My Partner in Crime, his going away gift. A nice, stainless steel, coffee mug with a bag of Starbucks coffee beans. I will also present to him one fresh cup of Starbucks coffee that I have just purchased from Starbucks on the way in to work.
The final part of the prank is the key part, the part that will win me the Nobel prize. Once I am certain he has at least consumed a portion of the fresh coffee, I will send him the photo that I have taken, the only caption on the photo will be "How does the coffee taste?"
I can't help it, just thinking about it makes me crack up.
A great idea!!
One catch, it is blizzarding so hard outside you can't see the smoke shack from the entrance door, a span of maybe 20 ft.
Because the show must go on, the EIG group has decided to set up the grill and a couple of carts loaded with food right on the handicap ramp, apparently the shelter from the snow is much more necessary then the ability of Jason, the guy in the WHEELCHAIR, to be able to make his way through the building.
Brilliant!
All morning it has been a 'Who's Who' of the production floor. Anyone that's anybody has been on that ramp, hanging out, pretending to be important, looking like a jack ass.
What can I say, if I worked with people who had half a brain, we would all be in trouble.
GQ, Sophia, and I have discovered one of the Quality Tech's has an obsession with on of the production engineers. Apparently, according to her, she and the production engineer in question have shared several past lives together, as lovers. She is currently awaiting her opportunity to be his lover in this life.
Can we say Crazy Stalker?
In the midst of this conversation, I had admitted to Sophia and GQ that I had been to a psychic before, and I had been told that, in my previous life, I was a nun named Barbara.
It was at this point that Obsessive Compulsive Ted had wandered by my desk, on the other side of the wall, and had apparently been shocked by this revelation. No sooner had the phrase passed through my lips then Obsessive Compulsive Ted's head popped up over the cubicle wall with shock and disbelief written across his crimson face.
"No way.... You were a NUN? No way.... I just can't believe that," the more he spoke, the redder his face got, the more he laughed.
"I'm serious, she said I was a nun," Sophia and I were laughing, GQ raised his eyebrows and looked at Ted.
"Well, I have to say, I'm baffled that someone who was a nun in a previous life would turn into YOU in this life," we all had to laugh at this, even GQ.
"You never know GQ, you and I could have been lovers in a past life," smiling, Sophia winked at GQ, waiting for his reaction.
Almost on que, his face turned beat red and began to laugh out of control.
"Well, something sure did change from that life to this. I don't think that version would go over to well with Larry in this life," still laughing, GQ was practically fleeing from our desks. He never does well in conversations of sexuality.
It has been decided that I will pull one last, grand finale, prank on My Partner in Crime, Monday. I know he has a love of Starbucks coffee, and with this, I will get my ultimate revenge. Sophia has been kind enough to give me an empty coffee cup to pull off my scheme.
I have deftly taken this cup and floated it in the grossest toilet I could find. The bowl is literally brown with hard water stains and lack of cleaning. Using my digital camera, I have snapped a picture of this cup in preparation for the next step in the prank.
Next, on Monday, I will present to My Partner in Crime, his going away gift. A nice, stainless steel, coffee mug with a bag of Starbucks coffee beans. I will also present to him one fresh cup of Starbucks coffee that I have just purchased from Starbucks on the way in to work.
The final part of the prank is the key part, the part that will win me the Nobel prize. Once I am certain he has at least consumed a portion of the fresh coffee, I will send him the photo that I have taken, the only caption on the photo will be "How does the coffee taste?"
I can't help it, just thinking about it makes me crack up.
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