The Production Managers have come up with a wild new scent for the season, it will be named 'Ripped Ass'.
Upon entering the conference room this morning, Calamity Jane immediately began to gripe about how she had to "rip her team a new ass" for recent human relations situations. Naturally, the rest of us laughed at her outburst and offered little support.
"I could tell something was going on..... A very distinct odor has emanated from your area," Big Dog was the first to comment between the snickers and giggles.
"Yes, it IS a very distinct odor, isn't it. That's what we, in the profession, would like to call 'Essence of Ripped Ass'," Mr. Brownstar snorted as he tried in vain to hold back a laugh.
"Let's copy right that bad boy," Calamity Jane is now laughing, her anger beginning to subside.
The average employee on the production floor really has no idea how difficult it can be to be a production manager. Not only do you have the demands of the customer, your own superior, and a director of operations, but you also have the intricate and detailed demands of the several individuals who work for you.
The toughest part of your job is always the latter. It is defined for you what the customer needs are. You know, without doubt, what your boss expects out of you. When the director of operations heads your way it has already been determined this isn't going to go well.
But, with your employee, you are absolutely blindsided. Are they here to tattle tale on their fellow coworker? Are they here to scope information in their subtle (yet completely obvious) conversation? Are they trying to work the system, yet again, with a new loop hole they have discovered in the hand book?
It is these issues that push a production manager, like Calamity Jane, to their wits end, forcing them to, whether they want to or not, 'rip their team a new ass'.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
The Verbal Confrontation
My day has gone horribly this far, I must say.
I have gotten into a verbal confrontation with The Stickman today. If it wasn't for the fact that I am a lady, and a pleasant one, I would have kicked his ass. For a business manager, he has absolutely no clue what it takes to get the job done.
This is the worst kind of person to have as support for the production floor.
They sit in their protective cubicle all day, making promises to the customer we can not keep, hassling the production managers to live up to these impossible promises, then going to the director of operations when the production managers fail.
So there we stood, The Stickman and I, voices raised, everyone within earshot staring directly at the scene.
"That's not my problem. You need to make it work, not me," The Stickman is raising his voice, a tactic for taking command of a conversation.
"What do you mean it's not your problem? If I'm not mistaken, you are the reason why these parts are in this building to begin with. This PO is not set up correctly, if you want the parts reviewed, you will make sure this gets corrected." Raising my voice as well, I sure as hell was not going to let this jackass take command of the conversation.
Turning on his heel, he left red faced and angry. You could have heard a pin drop at this point.
Just once I would like to see one of these witless wonders walk a day in the production managers shoes and experience what life is like on the other side of the coin.
I have gotten into a verbal confrontation with The Stickman today. If it wasn't for the fact that I am a lady, and a pleasant one, I would have kicked his ass. For a business manager, he has absolutely no clue what it takes to get the job done.
This is the worst kind of person to have as support for the production floor.
They sit in their protective cubicle all day, making promises to the customer we can not keep, hassling the production managers to live up to these impossible promises, then going to the director of operations when the production managers fail.
So there we stood, The Stickman and I, voices raised, everyone within earshot staring directly at the scene.
"That's not my problem. You need to make it work, not me," The Stickman is raising his voice, a tactic for taking command of a conversation.
"What do you mean it's not your problem? If I'm not mistaken, you are the reason why these parts are in this building to begin with. This PO is not set up correctly, if you want the parts reviewed, you will make sure this gets corrected." Raising my voice as well, I sure as hell was not going to let this jackass take command of the conversation.
Turning on his heel, he left red faced and angry. You could have heard a pin drop at this point.
Just once I would like to see one of these witless wonders walk a day in the production managers shoes and experience what life is like on the other side of the coin.
Friday, February 09, 2007
Under New Management
It is official for the production floor, starting Monday, we will officially be known as .........
Yeah, like I'm going to tell you. >:]
I feel as though the production floor is breathing a sigh of relief at the moment. The company we had worked for has struggled financially for so many years. The production floor has dealt with massive lay off's, bankruptcy, credit holds, customer loss, down time, as a whole our plant has endured more in the past 4 years then many endure in an entire lifetime of employment.
What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, I have to say.
The new company recognizes our struggles, sees our determination, and knows this is the type of work environment they need for their organization.
Amazingly, I feel as though I've weathered a storm, as if I can see the clear skies coming to view at last.
While I'm still cautious of things to come and changes that may befall us, I do know that our situation will only get better.
That's all any of us production employees can hope for.
As for the daily insights into the world of The Production Manager, the best is yet to come!
If you haven't noticed, with change you can almost assuredly expect conflict and rife to go hand in hand.
Yeah, like I'm going to tell you. >:]
I feel as though the production floor is breathing a sigh of relief at the moment. The company we had worked for has struggled financially for so many years. The production floor has dealt with massive lay off's, bankruptcy, credit holds, customer loss, down time, as a whole our plant has endured more in the past 4 years then many endure in an entire lifetime of employment.
What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, I have to say.
The new company recognizes our struggles, sees our determination, and knows this is the type of work environment they need for their organization.
Amazingly, I feel as though I've weathered a storm, as if I can see the clear skies coming to view at last.
While I'm still cautious of things to come and changes that may befall us, I do know that our situation will only get better.
That's all any of us production employees can hope for.
As for the daily insights into the world of The Production Manager, the best is yet to come!
If you haven't noticed, with change you can almost assuredly expect conflict and rife to go hand in hand.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Going for the Kill
In many ways the hourly employees on the production floor are like a pack of wolves. Constantly on the hunt for the weak, the defenseless, the employee sitting next to them that may have looked at them crossly the day before or has some quality about them that they envy.
The leader of the pack is the loud one, the most abrasive one, the one that demands attention from anyone in their vicinity. The remainder of the pack are the followers, the wanna-be's, the employees that need the pack for acceptance and protection.
The prey is almost always the quiet employee, the employee that comes to work every day, does their job, and goes home without complaint. As a manager, the prey is what I seek to find, these are the keepers, the employees that can be relied upon in almost every situation.
Unfortunately, it is the pack that eventually antagonizes the good employees until they feel they can take it no longer, and quit.
A situation I've seen happen more then once. A situation I am intolerant of.
I was approached today by one of my receivers who felt the need to go into great detail to tell me her coworker, another receiver, was drunk, you could smell the stench of booze on her from a mile away.
As I sat there listening to what she was saying I couldn't help but get irritated by her.
First of all, I had spent the previous 2 hours with this individual in an IPC class. Oddly, the stench of booze didn't knock me out even though I was sitting a mere 24 inches from her. Nor did I notice any slurring in her speech as she participated in class.
Secondly, who was she? And, in what way was she qualified to condemn anyone without a thorough investigation?
Irritated and a little angry, I headed down to the HR office to consult our HR director on what actions I should take. While I know this woman is an alcoholic outside work, I did not believe she carried her problem with her to work nor had I noticed it affecting her ability to perform her job.
This, of course, spurned the investigation.
Now under surveillance, this poor receiver (without knowing anything at all out of the ordinary is happening) has been approached and talked to by the HR director, myself, and another manager to see if she is in fact under the influence of alcohol and therein committing a policy violation punishable by termination.
The findings?
She is NOT drunk. Just the newest object of prey for a pack of wolves.
The leader of the pack is the loud one, the most abrasive one, the one that demands attention from anyone in their vicinity. The remainder of the pack are the followers, the wanna-be's, the employees that need the pack for acceptance and protection.
The prey is almost always the quiet employee, the employee that comes to work every day, does their job, and goes home without complaint. As a manager, the prey is what I seek to find, these are the keepers, the employees that can be relied upon in almost every situation.
Unfortunately, it is the pack that eventually antagonizes the good employees until they feel they can take it no longer, and quit.
A situation I've seen happen more then once. A situation I am intolerant of.
I was approached today by one of my receivers who felt the need to go into great detail to tell me her coworker, another receiver, was drunk, you could smell the stench of booze on her from a mile away.
As I sat there listening to what she was saying I couldn't help but get irritated by her.
First of all, I had spent the previous 2 hours with this individual in an IPC class. Oddly, the stench of booze didn't knock me out even though I was sitting a mere 24 inches from her. Nor did I notice any slurring in her speech as she participated in class.
Secondly, who was she? And, in what way was she qualified to condemn anyone without a thorough investigation?
Irritated and a little angry, I headed down to the HR office to consult our HR director on what actions I should take. While I know this woman is an alcoholic outside work, I did not believe she carried her problem with her to work nor had I noticed it affecting her ability to perform her job.
This, of course, spurned the investigation.
Now under surveillance, this poor receiver (without knowing anything at all out of the ordinary is happening) has been approached and talked to by the HR director, myself, and another manager to see if she is in fact under the influence of alcohol and therein committing a policy violation punishable by termination.
The findings?
She is NOT drunk. Just the newest object of prey for a pack of wolves.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
A DAY WITHOUT PHOEBE
Phoebe is in IPC class today. The C.E.O from the new company is coming threw on a plant tour. Oh boy, it's a race to get things prepared. Prints in there place on my desk. The R.C.P. up on my computer screen. WHERE IS PHOEBE! She is an expert on speaking to these people. She knows the In's and out's.G.Q. has stars in his eyes over that hot guy that is in from FLA. He is totally goo-goo eyed over him.
They had the soup cook off today. The C.E.O. from the other company did some sampling. Very nice.G.Q. took 3rd place. The girls are fighting in receiving now Phoebe is gone. God when will
grown women wake up to reality? They want to stick the knife in each other's back. Maybe they should mud wrestle and get it over with. Tomorrow is another day.
They had the soup cook off today. The C.E.O. from the other company did some sampling. Very nice.G.Q. took 3rd place. The girls are fighting in receiving now Phoebe is gone. God when will
grown women wake up to reality? They want to stick the knife in each other's back. Maybe they should mud wrestle and get it over with. Tomorrow is another day.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
The Eternal Mr. Flame
From the corner of my eye I seen an exhilarated GQ headed toward my desk with a mysterious dark haired stranger.
"Hi Ladies, this is Mr. Flame. He's here from our corporate office," I could tell they had just come inside, the smell of the frigid Arctic air was thick. GQ was bundled inside a bright red goose down parka, several little feathers were beginning to work themselves free at the seams.
"Hi, nice to meet you," I smiled, laughing inwardly, Mr. Flame couldn't have picked a worse time to travel to the frozen tundra. Coming from Florida, this had to have been a shock to his system.
"Nice to meet you guys," Mr. Flame smiled a devilish womanizing smile, too bad his nose was cherry red from standing outside in the smoke shack. Seriously unprepared for the weather, Mr. Flame stood before us in a thin black leather jacket and loafers.
Anyone who has had the opportunity to work with a gay man can instantly recognize when he is feeling attracted to a man. In GQ's situation, it's visibly obvious.
There stood GQ, smiling from ear to ear, love struck look in his eye, showing off Mr. Flame like he is a prize to the world. I could almost hear his inner mind clicking with thoughts of Mr. Flame. Every sentence spoken from that point forward will reference the object of their infatuation, every situation experienced will NEED to involve that object of infatuation.
I hate to say it, but, it's very much like a woman's reaction.
In this situation, however, the physical attraction will be one sided. Mr. Flame is very heterosexual, from what I understand, and from what experiences GQ has passed along to me.
Let's just say, when GQ explained how he and Mr. Flame had gone to the bar to check out women's tits and find some 'action', I surmised 2 things.
I do have to wonder if Mr. Flame is getting a kick out of the attention he receives from GQ......
On a different note, the production floor as I know it will be undergoing a lot of changes in the days to come. With the sale of my company has come the expected worry and anticipation of new bosses, new rules, new everything. It seems this week is a week where everything will be culminating in the form of a quarterly SBR.
The upper crust are on pins and needles, each one of them worried about the visit from the 'new owners'.
I can't help but wonder what these people will think when they see Spicegirl for the first time, with the grey stripe in her unkempt hair and the pink corduroy pants, or The Director of Operations with his leopard print hair and dry personality.
Only time will tell.
But, I do know one thing, each and every one of them is afraid for their jobs, all anticipating the arrival of the 'new owners' is a beginning of an end.
"Hi Ladies, this is Mr. Flame. He's here from our corporate office," I could tell they had just come inside, the smell of the frigid Arctic air was thick. GQ was bundled inside a bright red goose down parka, several little feathers were beginning to work themselves free at the seams.
"Hi, nice to meet you," I smiled, laughing inwardly, Mr. Flame couldn't have picked a worse time to travel to the frozen tundra. Coming from Florida, this had to have been a shock to his system.
"Nice to meet you guys," Mr. Flame smiled a devilish womanizing smile, too bad his nose was cherry red from standing outside in the smoke shack. Seriously unprepared for the weather, Mr. Flame stood before us in a thin black leather jacket and loafers.
Anyone who has had the opportunity to work with a gay man can instantly recognize when he is feeling attracted to a man. In GQ's situation, it's visibly obvious.
There stood GQ, smiling from ear to ear, love struck look in his eye, showing off Mr. Flame like he is a prize to the world. I could almost hear his inner mind clicking with thoughts of Mr. Flame. Every sentence spoken from that point forward will reference the object of their infatuation, every situation experienced will NEED to involve that object of infatuation.
I hate to say it, but, it's very much like a woman's reaction.
In this situation, however, the physical attraction will be one sided. Mr. Flame is very heterosexual, from what I understand, and from what experiences GQ has passed along to me.
Let's just say, when GQ explained how he and Mr. Flame had gone to the bar to check out women's tits and find some 'action', I surmised 2 things.
- GQ must be totally infatuated if he's willing to peruse a bar to look at 'racks' and seek out 'action'
- Mr. Flame must be a horn dog in search of a bitch in heat if he's that willing to go bar hopping, gay man in tow, looking for 'action'
I do have to wonder if Mr. Flame is getting a kick out of the attention he receives from GQ......
On a different note, the production floor as I know it will be undergoing a lot of changes in the days to come. With the sale of my company has come the expected worry and anticipation of new bosses, new rules, new everything. It seems this week is a week where everything will be culminating in the form of a quarterly SBR.
The upper crust are on pins and needles, each one of them worried about the visit from the 'new owners'.
I can't help but wonder what these people will think when they see Spicegirl for the first time, with the grey stripe in her unkempt hair and the pink corduroy pants, or The Director of Operations with his leopard print hair and dry personality.
Only time will tell.
But, I do know one thing, each and every one of them is afraid for their jobs, all anticipating the arrival of the 'new owners' is a beginning of an end.
Friday, February 02, 2007
Today on the Production Floor
It has been quite the day, I must say.
Even as I sit here typing this I hear the distant echo of a belch, from what I surmise to be nearly 100ft away, at the desk of one of the floor engineers. While I want to say this shocks me, sadly, it does not. What would shock me more would be the distant voice of apology requesting 'excuse me'.
Hedda Hopper has been quite musical today, herself. Thankfully she sits off in the corner because apparently, as she had explained to Sophia, her baked beans from last night have come back to haunt her. I just pray I don't end up in the restroom at the same time she does at any point today.
God have mercy on any that does end up in the bathroom at that moment in time!
Now that I have that out of my system I shall continue on with the scandal of late.
It appears The Scavenger has taken it upon herself to check a coworkers voice mail to see what was on it. I can not begin to describe how many lines have been crossed and how unethical this all is.
On top of it all, I know for a fact this coworker would have a fit and die in it if she knew The Scavenger had done so. Unfortunately, I know it will only be a matter of time before this information comes to light.
The other member of receiving who had witnessed this transgression can NOT keep a secret. The instant the coworker shows up for work tomorrow all hell is going to break loose, I'm quite certain.
I may need to get Normal the Health and Safety Coordinator back here with the digital cam tomorrow, this could end up fodder for the next 'Safety Meeting'.
*Reason #1 why you should wear safety glasses - safety glasses will thwart unwanted attempts to have your eyes clawed out (at this point a picture of a tattered and clawed Scavenger will appear on the overhead)
On a completely unrelated but interesting note, something I just can't keep to myself:
I have just seen one of the engineers come strolling back here wearing camouflage hunting cargo pants, black dress shoes, and a blue button down shirt. Thinking it had to be me, I used my hand to block the glare of the florescent lighting from his bald head, it was indeed fact.
The camouflage hunting cargo pants were indeed NOT a figment of my imagination. To make things worse, the second time I looked, I also noticed they were a tad too short.
Even as I sit here typing this I hear the distant echo of a belch, from what I surmise to be nearly 100ft away, at the desk of one of the floor engineers. While I want to say this shocks me, sadly, it does not. What would shock me more would be the distant voice of apology requesting 'excuse me'.
Hedda Hopper has been quite musical today, herself. Thankfully she sits off in the corner because apparently, as she had explained to Sophia, her baked beans from last night have come back to haunt her. I just pray I don't end up in the restroom at the same time she does at any point today.
God have mercy on any that does end up in the bathroom at that moment in time!
Now that I have that out of my system I shall continue on with the scandal of late.
It appears The Scavenger has taken it upon herself to check a coworkers voice mail to see what was on it. I can not begin to describe how many lines have been crossed and how unethical this all is.
On top of it all, I know for a fact this coworker would have a fit and die in it if she knew The Scavenger had done so. Unfortunately, I know it will only be a matter of time before this information comes to light.
The other member of receiving who had witnessed this transgression can NOT keep a secret. The instant the coworker shows up for work tomorrow all hell is going to break loose, I'm quite certain.
I may need to get Normal the Health and Safety Coordinator back here with the digital cam tomorrow, this could end up fodder for the next 'Safety Meeting'.
*Reason #1 why you should wear safety glasses - safety glasses will thwart unwanted attempts to have your eyes clawed out (at this point a picture of a tattered and clawed Scavenger will appear on the overhead)
On a completely unrelated but interesting note, something I just can't keep to myself:
I have just seen one of the engineers come strolling back here wearing camouflage hunting cargo pants, black dress shoes, and a blue button down shirt. Thinking it had to be me, I used my hand to block the glare of the florescent lighting from his bald head, it was indeed fact.
The camouflage hunting cargo pants were indeed NOT a figment of my imagination. To make things worse, the second time I looked, I also noticed they were a tad too short.
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